10 Excuses Heard Off-Road

You’ve heard fishermen complain about the “big one that got away,” right? Well, there’s a similar phenomenon that occurs when four wheelers go off road. Inevitably, something goes awry during a trip. Usually it’s a minor thing, such as someone forgetting to pack a piece of gear. As I noted in another article, Extra Gear To Loan, other drivers often step in and help out. Other issues generate the funniest explanations (excuses, really) in the drivers.

In the 40 years I’ve been involved in this hobby (10 years of which spent as an instructor), I think I’ve heard it all. (And in all honesty, I’ve used—or tried to use—a few of these myself.) Even though some incidents are fairly significant, sitting around the campfire that night we can’t help but marvel as the driver puts his spin on the tale.

Photo by Lion

Here, in no particular order, are my 10 excuses heard while four wheeling.

  1. I was doing just fine until my spotter screwed up. Texting while spotting should be a crime. I just learned you cannot trust a spotter with a camera in one hand! I think he just wanted a good picture.
  2. That blasted rock moved! I had a good line until the rock my tire was on rolled under the vehicle.
  3. They told me that pond/stream/mud pit wasn’t that deep. Of course, they should’ve known I’d be coming through here this weekend. Who put that log in there?
  4. That approach worked last time!
  5. My mechanic told me he fixed it.
  6. The vehicle in front of me created so much dust that I didn’t see that big hole.
  7. My air gauge must be off. It’s my spare gauge. I loaned out my good one and didn’t get it back yet. Anyway, that brand of tire is known for breaking beads.
  8. My vehicle is stock. I don’t have enough clearance for off-road use. On top of that, I have all these new parts on it that haven’t been tested. I am waiting for them to make a better one.
  9. The dog ate my map. Right. Who needs to read the map anyway?
  10. The electronic controls messed me up. This “drive by wire” has me all messed up. It just spins tires!

As you can see, four wheelers are pretty creative when it comes to making excuses. Fortunately, they are also quite resourceful. That resourcefulness allows them to get out of the quirky situations they sometimes get into.

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